Mornings in Winters...

Every morning in this chilly weather I ponder on whether to send S to school or not. Too many thoughts keep hovering in my mind, “he will get bored at home”…”what if weather is same for next 2-3 weeks”.. or “what if it will get sunny in next 2-3 hours”…or …“oh he will catch cold and cough again”…and what not….

Amid all these thoughts, I still push myself out of bed every morning, prepare tiffin for S, pack his bag….and wake up S…. The moment I enter his room … this song plays as background score in my mind….

“Yahaan Alag Andaz Hai… Jaise Chidta Koi Saaz Hai…
Yeh Waqt Ke Kabhi Ghulam Nahin…. Inhain Kisi Baat Ka Dhyan Nahin…
Duniya Ka Naara Jame Raho…” and so on…

                            

All my hurried-self comes to a standstill gazing my sleeping angel. But I manage to gather back my scattered thoughts and shake S out of the dreamland,

“Come on Swarit, wake up… Mam is waiting for u…”

and his reply most of the times is either “mumma mujhe bohot neeni aa rahi thi…” or “mumma mai school nahi gaya, to Mam roi roi karegi kya”?

And then in hush hush, follows brush – milk – washroom – bathing – dressing up…. (follow my old post Bestof moments for elaborate steps for few of the events)

On way to school bus, we share his school stories, what’s there in his tiffin, things to submit in school and one constant eye is there on the society gate to check if bus has not arrived….

If its too much foggy (which S calls hoggy)…or breezy …my anxiety levels pump up thinking how will kids manage in school…. And sunny weather turns glooms to glee…

Bus arrives, S hops in and runs for the window seat to catch hold of the glimpse of his mumma. And so am I, waiting outside and looking through all the glasses so that S appears in one of them…. And endless byes follows in chorus by all the anxious mothers…the bus departs…. End of the morning saga…

And I come back home smiling with the morning moments with S still flashing in my mind one by one like a Kaleidoscope… and there I get busy with my morning chores (writing being one of them ) till the clock ticks for S to come back home…

These are my mornings….what’s yours?

Originally posted by Parentous

5 takeaways for the New Year...

New Year is just one day away…I’ve been thinking from quite some time on what to post for the last day of 2013…Here are some of the lessons of this year I wish to piggy back to the promising new year ahead:-

• Taking out time with kids for art and craft always works. Kids enjoy the colors, scissors, frills, accessories to stick/cut/paste and we too feel excited and rejuvenated to do something different, out of our monotonous schedule. So its always a win win deal. 

• Saving power, water and other resources are simple few things we can teach our kids right from their childhood so that later it becomes a habit. Like switching off the light/fan, close the tap while brushing teeth, in between washing hands etc are the small steps we can take to kick start with. It becomes both, a fun activity for kids to reach out to switch/tap and also serves the purpose of inculcating the right habit, right there right now. 

• Slapping and shouting should be used as a last weapon to vent out anger on kids. Rather staying silent on the moment for a moment, talking it out with the kid works out. I read a wonderful phrase on Parentous itself, “Slapping more than once just lets out your frustration. It doesn’t teach child anything more.”

Take a deep breath instead. Speak out.

Try it out. Believe me, it works.

• I always find dancing with my son best way to lift up the mood and spirits. It just requires me to Put on the music on FM/ phone, mostly the numbers which my son likes, and here we both go. As they say, Happiness comes in small packets and mostly free. 

• Tiffins are last thing to worry for. We still have mornings, afternoons and evenings in our hand to stuff the tiny tummies. J 

These are my take aways…What’s yours?

And a very Happy New Year to my fellow friends… Keep smiling always…Stay Raw, Stay Happy...:)

Originally posted on Parentous

Pink Or Blue

Pink for girls and blue for boys….this is what we know from the time being...( and hence I guess, the names like billoo, pinky etc got invented J). And now a days, the room décor, clothes and everything are chosen as per gender of the child….

I don’t know which research enforced the fact…few say this is as per neuro-science on how male and female brains respond to colors and few that it is more to do with the market and retail strategy to attract more buyers…

Be it either way…I never told my son S about this color favourism and left it onto him to choose his fav…And guess what…he opted for Orange, he used to get excited by Orange color (which he often pronounces as ONAN….)

I generally dress up S in all the shades…but as he started going to school, he somehow got to know about Pink being girly shade. Now whenever I dress him up in pinks, he says, “Mai koi girl hu kya…mujhe pink kyun pehnaya?”, leaving me amused that finally he got to know the “pink pink” thing.

Till this point it was fine. But one day while giving him some vitamin supplement, which turned out to be dark Pink…he said (guess u guessed already ;) )…. “yeh girls ki dawai mujhe kyun…”…though I explained him “dawai me kisi ka color nahi hota…” , still his thought left me flabbergasted….

And now the cream biscuits which be it any flavor used to be his fav….(or any kids fav)…are now being checked to see if any pink color is popping n oozing out the biscuit holes…and hence NO and then followed by the demand of chocolate or orange color…

This color observation is getting extended day by day from clothes to food items to beddings to toys to books to unimaginable artifacts….

Though I manage to convince him each time, still I’m amazed how much and where all kids observe things and take it by heart…

Donno what more to come in store….

I’m all ears from S and from u too….

Share your experiences if any...

Originally posted on Parentous

Nursery Calling...

Time of the year has started when various schools have opened or are already in the process of nursery admissions.

My son S is already in Nursery, so I’ve gone thru this phase last year. He started his Nursery at the age of 3.4 (I know it’s a lil early for few as many parents choose the age for the same as 4+). S is Dec born and started his playway at the age of 2.5, and when he turned 3+, I didn’t intend to send him in playway for one more year and for the same set of learnings like A,B,C 1,2,3 poems etc…and then again the same set of things in Nursery.

I was determined to send S in school at 3+. But when I was waiting for my son’s interview in the wait area, I saw all kinds of kids around. Few confident, tall, smart enough and happy to go with the new teacher to a new room where there was a small test being conducted. And there were few innocent faces (S falls into this category), who turned twice to see their parents when teacher took them away. You could have heard my palpitations that time when S was away and I was wondering what would be going inside. That time I was a lil confused on whether I should have waited for one more year or is it the right age to enter the alma mater. But S got through and here we were, (like his traffic light, ready steady go), set for the schooling.

Definitely sending kids to a learning institute is always a great idea. No matter how much u try, kids learn max in company of other children and they have a sense of obeying their teachers more than their parents.

Well my intent of this post is not to share his selection day experiences or deciding on the age limit for the schools. But to rather to reflect on an important question – What do we expect from a kid going to Nursery?

Are we expecting a disciplined, confident child for class Nursery? - who take care of his belongings, obey his teacher’s instructions, finishes his/her lunch, never pee in the class. 

Or is the complete reverse? 
Or mix of both.

Why was institution of school planned from Nursery – Prep and then from  – 1^st -12^th. I feel because Nursery and Prep were spared more to imbibe mannerisms, good habits, self-discipline in kids besides the basics of the subject education. Isn’t?

Rest of the schooling and teen years are for studies, extra curricular, sports, hobbies etc but don’t you wanna treasure Nursery/Prep moments for lifetime. On how our lil ones pronounced difficult or long words, how their eyes sparkled when we mentioned their teacher’s name or class buddies, and how they sleepily open their eyes and walk when bus teacher shake them back to the conscious world at the bus stop where we are eagerly waiting for them and then their unending talks till we unlock the door. These moments are endless and priceless. As they say, best things in the world are free of cost, free of price-tags.

In my opinion, be it a 3+ or 4+ kid, lets not wait for the innocence to diminish a lil more, for maturity to come a lil more and then declare the kid to be Nursery ready. Be the part of the flow. Let them surf in the tides of the school. Give Time time. Let the things around mould our tiny tots into an individual.

What say? I’m all ears….:)

Originally posted on Parentous

Bridging the Gap

We as kids always seek our parents for everything. As we grow, a fine line develops, which later turns into an age gap. There is an age… a time, when we are high, on cloud 9 with our friends. We have same thinking pace, same perspective of life and somewhere same expectations from life too.

Though our parents are happy in our happiness, happy to see us the way we are turning from good to a better individual, we feel that they do not understand us or probably too busy and indulged in their lives (rather in their routine), to share our feelings, our mindset with same intensity and vigor.

And suddenly, when this time leaps from this early college / work life to married life, we have a person / partner / alter-ego who is solely dedicated to us. Our partners give us best of everything. We feel our better halves are clearer in thoughts, have a better sense of looking at things, are more organized and blah-blah… We kind of have biased world towards our better halves and the gap widens.

Why this gap… I keep on questioning to myself… And somewhere got an answer or explanation…

We forget that to beget us/mould us till the current state; our parents sacrificed and compromised on many things. Starting from daily savings, to working hard to give us best of education and nutrition, to skipping the worldly pleasures offered to them (to save for us and thinking somewhere in the back of their mind…we will enjoy this later when we retire).

And most importantly, we were not the only apple of their eyes (mostly). We do have our siblings too who needed equal attention and care and hence commitments and responsibilities for them multiplied. And focus and individual attention for us would be probably 1:3 or 1:2 whereas for our spouses, ratio is 1:1.

To make the both ends meet gracefully, they poured their sweat of the brow. And yes, this process somewhere turned into their prime routine, their lifestyle. Given now all the things they intentionally gave a miss that time, they won’t enjoy it fully. Because they are used to this life now. No, they don’t want the worldly pleasures (as they say it) now.

All they want us to understand them. To read the wrinkles on their faces. To give them smallest of the joys like sharing a cup of tea / enjoying a nice TV show together / have a nice talk with them once a day / spending a fun day with them and their grandchildren.

Somewhere I read an article, where a grown up son asked his mother… “Why do you speak so slowly, please talk fast… I’m getting bored and I don’t have much time”… Mom replied “Son, I always used to speak at this pace, just that now you want things fast”…  

Probably sometimes taking a pause, looking back at things is worthwhile once in a while… 

Parents know that giving space is very important to kids… but don’t make this space a bridge hard to cross…

All this is what I opine, your thoughts and suggestions are most welcome.

Originally posted by Parentous

Story Telling

As they say, books are the best companion of a person. And believe me, they are. Try a few to check your taste and then here you go, to the endless world of words. J

I always wanted my son to catch up this interest. He can’t read sentences as of now but ya, can make out a story (once explained by us) from pictures and a couple of words. And today, story telling is one of the things he is fond of. Guys n gals, try it out. Its benefits are multi-pronged –

• To learn the art of weaving the words…
• to derive (and actually imbibe) a great moral in the end
• once kids are used to story listening/telling, u can lure them to come and join leaving something unwanted behind…
• books can be passed further to friends/sibling etc…
• best things to exchange too with your buddies…
• to grasp the concept from pictures till the time they catch up with words and sentences..
• it boosts their vocabulary as well as their thinking and listening powers…

This list is simply endless…..Deeper u go, More u know….

Our favorite bedtime story is the famous Hare and tortoise fable and I tell him in the end, “So isse humne kya seekha, ki apna kaam khatam karma chahiye, aur fir sona chahiye. Aur sabko strong samajhna chahiye…”

And to return the favor, my son often recites the famous monkey and crocodile fable….(where monkey offers croc jaamuns daily. One day croc & his wife gets greedy and plan to bring monkey to their place to eat his heart thinking it must be sweet. But monkey on the way tells croc that he forgot his heart on tree and saves his life)….

One day my son said… “ mai bataun, isse hume kya samajh aata hai…”

I said “Go ahead”

His moral.. “ Isse hume samajh aata hai ki hume jaldi jaldi apna kaam swimming karke khatam karma chahiya aur ped pe jaake jaamun khane chahiye..”

Though I explained him the correct moral, still I superliked his attempt and everytime I think of it, I makes me smile…J He tried and at least if not from the depth but from the actions and flow of the story, he derived the meaning …

If I lazily narrate him a story, then my son corrects me saying, “Mamma, aise thode na… Once upon a time se shuru karma hota hai…”… and then I have to re-recite everything…no choice…

You can make the kids learn or unlearn so many things through story telling and preferably the picture books ones. Books are one of the best things you can gift your child, one of the best hobbies you can try inculcating in them and see if will do wonders.

A seed well sown in time reap its own rewards…

Originally posted by Parentous

Travelling Overseas with kids...

Recently been to a holiday outside India. Taking break from the normal routine was much called and desired for. Came back with loads of memories (and pics of course).

Here are few of the findings I carried back home:

1)      Always carry kids raincoat/ at least a good quality cap to cover their heads for unexpected rains/ too sunny day.

2)      Kids adapt to food changes quickly. We might still look out for our Indian or desi food everywhere but they can easily gobble in pastas/ pizzas/ smoothies etc. And believe me all these things do have some nutritional value.

3)      You get canned milk everywhere. Just carrying kids fav chocolate powder is enough. Even cornflakes/chocos are available easily.

       I generally opt for breakfast buffet at hotels. Even if they don’t have much of veg choices, still as per international standards, all of them have breads (all kinds and shapes), muffins, fresh cut fruits and juices, all kinds of flakes and milk/tea/coffee. This is more than enough for a good start of the day.

4)      Don’t think that your 3+ and beyond cannot walk much with you. You just need to keep their spirits high and they will surprise you with their stamina.

A pack of biscuits, chips etc would be icing on the cake. And bigger the group of people is, more the fun and help it would bring to the trip.

5)      Basic medicines of cough, cold, fever, acidity and an antiseptic ointment should always be in place. And most important is a bundle of BAND-AIDS (washproof J)…

6)      Washrooms are available in abundance outside (and hygienic ones). Just carrying an extra pair of clothes as a backup is ok. You need to carry diapers for extra cold places like in flights.

7)      And ya, kids do enjoy flight journeys (be it long or short). Watching the clouds, ascend and descend of plane excites them. And there is so much content in In-flight entertainment program (your personal TV placed at the back of the seat in your front) to keep all of you engaged. Movies, serial, video games and what not. And flight crew generally offer extra set of goodies to your lil one to entertain them.

These are just few of the things coming to my mind. And as always, with these learnings and memories to embrace, looking forward for my next travel rendezvous.

Originally posted by Parentous